The internet is full of such a high level of junk none of us should be able to believe it. What's worse is that much of the crud floating around cyberspace then makes its way into our line of vision through e-mails. What amazes me are the people, numbering in the hundreds of thousands, that spend their days and nights fishing around for mindless matter they can then re-package and send to countless other hundreds of thousands. Often these e-mails take the form of "forwards" and promise that if you keep the chain going you will be forever blessed. Does anyone else have a problem with this?
Not my Mom apparently. This poor woman has a "friend" that dutifully ships off close to 20 e-mails a day full of everything from planetary re-alignment to jokes George Bush cracks before bed, to outlandish "love stories." Whenever I am home and get a gander at Mom's inbox I can hardly believe my eyes. Some time ago after Ma forwarded one of these mailbombs to me and I foolishly opened it causing my computer to freeze, I kindly requested that she no longer send me anything from (what can I call her to hide her identity)...Dorothy. And my mother has been so disciplined. Not one forward from her since.
Well, the same cannot be said for some of my other friends. Yesterday, however, an anamoly. I got a forward that actually made me laugh and laugh and laugh some more. It's one of these "funny because it's so true" e-mails that's a real keeper. In fact, last night at a dinner with friends we snickered and chuckled at this for a long time. Attention, men and women, prepare for 9 Words Women Use. If you've seen this, you've already been laughing (or crying). If this is new to you, I can assure you it won't be for long. Gosh, this is so true. (And thanks, for once, to the person who sent this to me. But don't go getting carried away sending any others. This is fine, thank you.)
9 Words Women Use
1.)Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.
2.)Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.*
3.)Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end
4.)Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6.)That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.)Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
8.)Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9.)Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is
now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.
* My personal favorite, unless its being used on me!!